Jack Larison sat on the couch in his living room, waiting for the portal to open. He was a little anxious, not because there was about to be a dimensional opening in his apartment, but because he had spent his last five dollars buying the clicker.
The man on
the street who sold him the clicker told him that when he pressed the button on
the clicker three times, pausing slightly between each click, a portal would
open to another world, a better world, one which would be so much more to Jack’s
liking than the awful place he was now living in.
Not that
Jack’s life had been that bad. He had a job most of the time, although he was
recently fired for screaming at his boss. Jack was relatively mild-mannered,
but once in a while he did have to let off some steam.
The man
who sold him the clicker said that it was an incredible device, built from
plans devised by Leonardo DaVinci, perfected by Nikola Tesla, and tested
extensively by Howard Hughes. With a pedigree like that, there was no doubt the
device really worked, Jack concluded.
Basically,
the clicker would open a circular portal, about eight feet in diameter,
providing access to a wonderful place located in a dimension not far from our
own. But this new dimension had solved all of its problems, and everyone there
was satisfied with their lives and their surroundings.
Jack was a
little concerned about how long it was taking for the portal to open, since he
had clicked the clicker about 15 seconds ago. He decided to wait a little
longer before getting upset. He was ready to get out of this crazy unforgiving
world and go live in one where everyone had their own apartment, free rent,
free food and free entertainment.
The guy who sold him the clicker said that this other dimension provided everything one needed, transportation, a good job, free time entertainment, lectures about how to be a good citizen. Jack was especially interested in that one: he had been trying to tell his neighbors how to be good citizens, but they had just ignored him.
Moments
before Jack was about to utter a curse word and toss the clicker against the
wall in anguish, there was an odd glow stirring the air. Slowly a swirling
spiral appeared, gradually getting larger and larger, until it became eight
feet across. Then the glow subsided, and the portal clearly appeared. Jack could
see through it now, and he was a little surprised to see a man standing beyond
it, looking at him, also holding a clicker.
The man
was just as startled to see Jack sitting on his couch.
“Who are
you?” the stranger on the other side of the portal asked hesitatingly.
Jack
blinked. “I’m Jack. Who are you?”
The man answered,
“My name is Glorossen. Is that, is that a clicker in your hand?”
Jack held
the clicker up so the other guy could see it. “Yes. And you have one, too?”
The other
guy nodded. “Someone I met in the park here sold it to me for five leshorments.”
Jack
puzzled. “What’s a leshorment?” he asked.
“It’s what
we call money,” Glorossen replied.
Jack
nodded, then he stood up.
“Well,
this is supposed to be some kind of dimensional portal to a place where
everything is free and life is easier and nobody argues with anyone else,” Jack
said.
Glorossen
sadly nodded. “Yes, I have lived here all my life, and it is the dullest place.
Everybody gets the same amount of leshorement, a very small free apartment, and
is assigned a job that is the most boring thing imaginable. You can't disagree
with anyone here because we are all told what to think.”
Jack
blinked. “You are told what to think?”
Glorossen
nodded.
“That
would be great,” Jack said. “That means that everyone thinks the same, there’s
no disagreements, nobody argues…”
“Yes, that
is what it means. No discussions, no chance to ask questions, just going to the
same dull job everyday, getting paid very little…”
“But the
food it free…” Jack said.
“Yes, but
it taste awful. No flavor, no spices,” Glorossen responded. “I wanted to find a
place where I could do the kind of work I wanted to do, maybe start a business,
make as much money as I wanted to, you know, contribute to making the world a
better place.”
Jack
laughed. “Good luck with that, buddy. I’m looking for a place to just settle
in, get free food, a steady job, my own apartment rent free. That’s the kind of
life for me.”
Glorossen
sighed. “Well, come on over, then. You can have it all. I’d rather live somewhere
where there’s a chance to do better, help other people, make up my own mind
about things.”
Jack
stepped through the portal and entered Glorossen’s apartment, and then Glorossen
stepped through the portal and entered Jack’s old apartment. The edges of the portal
were beginning to waver, and the opening was beginning to grow smaller.
“Well, I
guess I won’t be needing this any longer,” Jack said, now standing in his brand
new rent-free apartment. He tossed the clicker back through the portal where
Glorossen caught it.
“You sure?”
Glorossen said as the portal got smaller.
“I’m super
sure,” Jack answered. “This is great. I’m going to love it.”
Gloroseen
looked around his new surroundings and smiled. This place was so much bigger,
so much more colorful. He was really looking forward to going outside and
meeting people, talking with them. He knew he had to get a job to make money,
but he was also pretty sure he would be starting his own business of some kind,
once he found out what people needed and wanted.
The portal
opening was only about two feet across now, and Jack was breathing a sigh of
relief. He had found what he had been looking for. The walls of the small apartment
were gray, however, so the first thing he would be doing was painting the
walls.
“Man, a
good coat of paint would really brighten up this place,” he told Glorossen
moments before the portal closed.
“Sorry,
that’s the color they dictate. All the walls have to be gray. There is no
choice,” he explained, as the portal diminished into a point, then disappeared.
Jack snorted. "What kind of idiots would require that all walls have to be gray?" he said out loud.
